Lobbyists gathered in force in the Commons today. There were about 150 of them and they fell flat on their faces.
I have had a hate-love-hate relationship with them. But I decided to turn up on a very crowded day to see their presentation. They were stung by the Public Administration Select Committee's (PASC) report in 2009 that called for a compulsory register of lobbyists - especially the bits of it that I wrote.
We called for absolute transparency including publishing the details of the lobbyists diaries, clients and sums of money that changed hands. What we had tonight was a website of telephone numbers and clients names. I asked how their register differed from what PASC recommended. They replied that the PASC recommendation was a 'Big Ask'. The response was not big, it is on a protozoan scale. A token. A nothing.
One uber-lobbyist named Mark appointed himself as defender of this weak response. He claimed unconvincingly that the register presented was not a response to PASC but something the lobbyists had been planning for years. The group's main adviser repeatedly talked about 'a journey' that they were on. I pressed Mark to tell us when they started on this journey as PASC had reported in 2009.
It became interesting. 'If this was a journey, it is a tortuously slow one. When did you start Mark?' Mark burbled and blustered. Four times I interrupted him, 'When did you start Mark?' The torrent of words flowed without any sign of a date.
Even the lobbyists tittered. The next questioner was from a Transparency campaigning group. Her questions were not answered either.
As a piece of lobbying this event was a disaster. These people are professional bull-shitters. If they cannot promote themselves why should anyone pay them to promote other causes?
Pay attention
Jesse Norman MP has written a book about the Big Society. He intervened on my speech yesterday and boobed. Hansard records.
Paul Flynn :We should all beware of Prime Ministers bearing three-word gimmick policies. I have served in this House under six Prime Ministers, and I remember "the cones hotline", "the third way" and "back to basics". Now, we have "the big society". I think that the big society has most in common with the cones hotline. These were all pet subjects of various Prime Ministers who were willing to distort their own priorities to find money to plough into them over and above their general policies. There will be a degree of cynicism, when the cuts are taking place in all directions, if money is available to employ volunteers-
Jesse Norman: For some unaccountable reason, the hon. Gentleman seems to have forgotten the third way, which was possibly the most bankrupt of all these ideas.
Paul Flynn: I mentioned the third way. The hon. Gentleman has only recently joined the House, but he might know that I was not the most enthusiastic supporter of the previous two Prime Ministers. The third way was a candyfloss and vacuous policy, as is the big society, and no one ever knew what the first and second ways were, let alone the third way. I am sure that my Front-Bench team will reinforce the point, but a host of initiatives have already taken place over many years.
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