As depressed as a chicken

Lame excuse

A Gwent woman said today that her one legged pet chicken '"Is quite happy to hop around on one leg, but sometimes she tries to scratch herself with her missing leg and falls over." 

The woman spent nearly £2,000 on operations for her pet chicken rather than go on holiday this year. The chicken had seven operations to save her leg. Alas they failed. The lady said her unusual pet was also recently diagnosed with depression but has recovered.

How do they know?  Many years years my family kept chickens. The subtlety of their moods escaped me. Is there a  budding career opportunity in chicken psychiatry? What a fulfilling and profitable vocation that could be.

Tired as a Tory
It's a bad sign but I am starting to feel sorry for the Tories.

Friends of their previously unflappable health spokesman explained that he was suffering from 'exhaustion' when he announced on live television that he had bungled a campaign.

Exhausted? We are in the middle of a recess. Lansley had announced a list of NHS hospitals where A&E units were under threat of closure. There was a chorus of protests because the list is bunkum.

Then David Cameron hits a hyperbole record and denounces 'anarchy' on our streets. What word do you yours if civiisation collapses. If we have anarchy, what do you call the state of Basra or Helmand?

It's a desperate try to counteract the Browne bounce. On Sky News  an exasperated Mr Lansley, whimpered, "I'm fallible." He added that Conservatives were capable of making mistakes.

There, there.

Saint and sinner

Two fascinating character traits revealed in quotes published today.

"I am driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did. -George Bush 2003

“ Where is my faith? Even deep down there is nothing but emptiness and darkness. If there be a God — please forgive me.” Mother Teresa Calcutta 1970.

Battered

Newport fish and chip shop owner Charlie Ferris has started a petition to 'save' the Chartist mural. An unusually sharp comment was made by John 77 on a newspaper website.

"I think the Chartist mural is a drab uninspiring piece of 1970s subway tat. No-one has cared about for years, it is poorly lit, and has graffiti over it. But as soon as there's a chance to get some free publicity then out come the likes of Charles Ferris faster than you can batter a sausage."

Ouch!